a boring day

yes, its a boring day...woke up at 12.45...hahahaa, don be shocked, coz im shock too...its been a long time tat i din sleep for so long dy. feel so nice, but too bad, coz nothing left for me to eat, so i have to cook maggie for myself, then stick with the tv for the whole noon again, then finally, i have finished watching 宫心计, feel so good...then went to yoga, after 1 week of relaxing...my bone so hard dy, hahahaa....cant reli stretch so much during d yoga, have to spend more time in doing this again...today is jus a normal day..

kk...im coming

yeah yeah yeah...another 6 hours, then i will start my journey to kk lor...wait me kk...im coming...hahahaha....its been a long time din go kk lor...act, it was jus around half a yr only la, i was in kk last harvest...hai, miss d time going shopping mah..but this time, shopping is not d main point for me, jus wan to go relax a bit after half yr of stress in working n everything...Kian oso feel d same, he was facing so much stress recently, from his superior n working oso not so smooth like b4..hope this trip can bring energy to both of us n for sure, need to throw all those unhappy things behind during this 3 days of holidays...yeah yeah..kk, im coming lor...

2nd day of holiday=working day

yupe...it is my working day today..went to a kursus Probim anjuran PPD at SMK Sandakan 2 this morning, d surat panggilan written, masa: 7.30 am - 4.30 pm...so, i became a guai guai teacher, woke up early early n reach ter sharp 7.30am, but guess wat...i waited for 35 minutes only those in-chage ppl showed up...reli...government servant's service so so good, oways serve ppl smart..hai..wat a...

it was such a boring course, but yet, some of d idea given reli can apply in teaching in d future lor, still got learnt something la, but...d course ended at 5.05pm..yupe, i spent 9 hours n 35 minutes on d course...n i learnt only a bit useful ways to teach weak students...hai...n during my course, i used some of my time chatting with fren...n able to surf tickets to Bangkok next yr...planning a DIY trip reli headache, coz i dunno where should i stay or where must i ter when in B..so i msg yung yung, ask him to ask his mum for a cheap n nice hotel where is near d town n convenient to tourist like me...who reli dunno to plan something perfectly..so, yung yung, if u able to read this, remember to help me ask ur mum or when u in B now, help me do some research so that i won miss out any tourist attractions when i reli able be in B oh..ok?

苏打绿 <<小情歌>>

这是一首简单的小情歌

唱着人们心肠的曲折
我想我很快乐
当有你的温热
脚边的空气转了

这是一首简单的小情歌

唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合
当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着
你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚
就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡
最后谁也都苍老

1st day of holidays~~

yeah yeah~~its holidays for me again...hehe, soli for those tat cannot have holiday now ya...Kian keep asking me whether im sien or not...sien wat? he said, sien coz have long holidays again lor, hahaha...yaya, quite sien if nothing can do, but for me, this time d holidays not reli a holidays for me lor, coz, i keep thinking of how to teach next yr lor, since the students next year are so 'good'..esp those in tat class...hai, reli headache when think of dat...am i reli can handle them? i don think i can do tat lor...normally i jus let them do wat they wan to do lor, i have no gas to shout at them n ask them do this n that...im not a good teacher instead ma...think of need to teach chinese again, then i feel so bad bad mood dy, not i don like chinese, but truly, i reli dunno how to teach lor, i will keep on giving exercises only lor...so don blame me on that oh...blame d ppl who give me d task lor...

tot today can take my atos out dy, but who knows, ah man din drive d car out n when v reached ter, d car is not ter, when v called him, he din answer d phone, kian was so hot dy, i reli scare he will explde when ah man call him later...i was so scared to talk to him too, his face is so black...d moral of d story, never kacau those ppl when they are in bad bad mood...if not, u tanggung urself la...

stomachache..

stomach feeling so blur blur since yesterday noon after lunch at ka hiong...feel so weird la, its not d 1st time im eating ter, plus d rice i ordered, i tried it for many times dy, why still will stomachache? after badminton at hakka with annie, yap n jet, still felt d same, still so pain pain in d stomach, like ter is a bug inside, biting me once in a while to let me suffer...hai...cham..this morning, went to toilet twice dy too, cham cham...i don like feeling like this...

imbalance again

feeling imbalance again today, y will be like this? coz of d meeting lor...it was d mesyuarat guru yang terakhir for this yr...so d principal was giving speech at d beginning...walau eh...i dunno y this principal will be like this lor, jus know how to criticise d teachers for not doing well in some stuff but never giving us any appreciation or compliment...is she reli think v can do everything perfectly? v are not a saint, v are jus human being, so being imperfect in some stuff jus normal to us lor, but how she react? I don think any of us like how she comment on us lor, coz, thou v know v din do well, but not jus like a shortgun there, shooting us like v meant to be shoot...hai...make me feel so imbalance, feel so down in working, luckily it is d last week dy, i can relax n re-energise myself b4 need to face her again in d future...
not only her, when i got to know wat i need to teach next yr, make me feel so so imbalance again, i know i need to teach math n chinese again next yr, ok bah, i dy accept it, but y wan to put me in psk again? dont they know its dy very heavy for me to teach 2 main subjects, why still wanna put me under psk again? am i reli so fresh until they know i won able to rebel? its ridiculous...feel so sad about d arrangement done by d barisan pentadbir, v have so many new teachers around, why jus don leave some for them? why must me?...feeling so so imbalance again today...im reli having a bad yr ahead...help!!~~~

boring weekend..

long time din reli spend time at home on weekend...this morning kian went to Pamol for work, so din able to bring me for badminton, so i have to stay at home n rest...kononnya rest, but use almost all d time facing d computer...play cafe world..yes, a mini game in Facebook, i was so addicted to d game recently, almost everyday have to open n c d dishes i cook, haha, like i m so good in cooking..jason sticks with me all d time, looking all d things inside my room, seems like wanna find something n ask me to give him, yes, he is d king in this house, if he wans something, v must give to him, if not, he will be like a bee..keep on asking for it until v surrender...hai...but he is cute..n everyone put all d love on him...wat to do? Tian is no more around us, he is d only one that v count on...thinking of Tian this morning, wonder if he is still here, how nice it would be...hanging around with me...i m so regret i din spend more time with him before, looking at d pic tat i stick on my wardrobe's door...i miss him so much...tears still will dropping down when i think of him...yes, i still cant forget the time v had shared b4..may God be with him!

good students...end of sem 2 2009

feeling better

after 3 days of imbalance working days...these 2 days finally feeling better...yesterday was d convocation n today is d anugerah cemerlang...yesterday i was d mc of d day, it was d 1st time being a mc, not bad, hehehee...i was so nervous at d beginning, i think its normal, then getting better after dat..hope it will be d 1st n last being mc for me, i don like the feeling of being mc, coz i reli don feel convenient standing in front of a big crowd n need to keep smiling at them, thou today i think i din do so, coz i feel so 'keras' when i wanna smile, of coz la, i was so nervous ma, how come still can smile to d crowd? so once after d ceremony, feel so relieve, reli so relieve, it was so stress when standing in front...then, felt so hungry, ate a lot after dat..hahaaa...my keep fit plan has failed again..

today is d anugerah cemerlang ceremony, haha, im not d mc, so i was so relax...din reli show up during d ceremony, keep hiding myself inside d staff room, wanna relax...so again, my keep fit plan failed today, ate a lot again, even jus now i went to supper as well..hai...u say lor, how can i slim down le? once stress, i eat, once relax, i eat oso...so this kind of ppl how can slim down? reli dunno how lor...jus hope i won gaining so much weight in these 2 days lor...

secret recipe finally here in sandakan, went with colleagues after school...

another imbalance day

after last nite, i tot i back to normal again, feel ok with all those pressures n unhappy things, who knows, today feel imbalance again...coz heard a such bad news of myself...i admit it was my fault, but still feel like...what is she doing? why is she doing all this to us?
i was not in d class last tues, i felt so frustrated with the mc speech...ya, can u imagine? i am going to be d mc for tml's convocation ceremony..who d hell in d world tell them that i can become a mc? i feel so shocked n puzzled when i 1st knew about this...but wat can do? i cant reject it..coz im still fresh in d school, i have to follow every instructions given by d upper boss..therefore, when i 1st given d speech, i was so desperate, i dunno how to translate at all, so i used a lot of time to translate it n after all translation, i felt so heachache...so i decided not to go in d class...ya, for d 1st time in life i din go in d class n i kena dy...reli WTF!so this morning when i heard from d students, i knew dat d principal has found out it was my class during dat time n i wasnt in d class...walau eh...so down oh when i knew about it...i reli feel so imbalance again, feel like d principal will surat amaran me soon n felt so insecure, i am so bad luck recently la...all not going smoothly...was so bad luck for weeks dy...not only work things, family as well...haiz....wat happen to me? y d god was not beside me?

imbalance

miserable day

woke up quite early this morning, promised K to have breakfast with him at Sim-Sim ter, tot the food is nice there but end up...so so only...then...back home to sleep again, hahaha...coz din reli have enuf sleep last nite, play cafe world till 11 something, felt myself being attracted by d game so much until cant leave it out for even 1 day..cham...start morning, it was such a nice day with K, have nice conversation all d way, but who knows...end up i was so sad...having a little argument with him...making myself so miserable...y such a thing could be happened? reli dunno...bad mood...

life reli full of so many unpredictable things...something that v take it for granted might one day end up with something v din even expected it to be happened...heard a lot of stories bout this, so sometimes i wonder...y i don live happily for today? who knows wat would happend to me d next seconds? i oways will think like tat, but not reli can do it la:P everyday reading d newspaper...everything come across my sight are so ugly...A killed B, C raped D, E cheated F for money...even teachers oso forced students to do something not good jus for his/her pleasures...y d world today become like this? wat happen to d human's brain?

kaki khinzir...

你能分清楚爱和喜欢吗？

你能分清楚爱和喜欢吗？

喜歡和愛咫尺千里。當你喜歡一個人時，你想和他在一起，因為他會帶給你快樂；離開後，你會想念，想著想著就會笑，然後繼續你平靜的生活，並期待著與他再一次重逢。當你愛一個人時，你想和他在一起，那是一種牽腸掛肚的捨不得，怕他受委屈，怕他不能好好照顧自己；離開後，你也會想念，想著想著歎一口氣，'不知他現在過的怎樣？'然後你繼續你平靜的生活，希望他早日回到你身邊。你喜歡的人在你眼中是天使，無所不能，他總會滿足你的任性的要求。你愛的人在你眼中是孩子，傻傻的，你不期望他做出什麼'好事'來，只一味縱容他那些讓人哭笑不得的舉動。你會希望你喜歡的人陪著你，然而你心中想的可能是你愛的人；你會希望陪在你愛的人身邊，看他在你面前睡得如此安逸甜美毫不設防的樣子，你會微笑，會覺得好幸福。你喜歡的人傷害了你，你會生氣，並且一定要讓他哄著騙著逗你笑你才原諒他；你愛的人傷害了你，你只會獨自傷心，因為你怕對他大吼大叫會嚇著他，你憂傷地微笑著，看著他的眼睛，一旦發現他的眼裡流露出歉意和悔恨，你會立即心疼地摟他在懷裡，那一刻，你也是幸福的。你可以同時喜歡很多人，你會希望和很多人在一起，但也許很多年後你才發現，原來你愛的就只有那麼一個，就那麼一個，怎麼都不會變，你以為把他忘記了，其實只是忙的沒空想起而已，對於你喜歡的人，你關注的是他的優點；對於你愛的人，你關注的是他的缺點，並且，那些缺點如果無關原則的話，它們在你眼裡是可愛的，獨一無二的。喜歡和愛其實只有一紙之隔，任何愛都從喜歡開始，當有天你突然發現，你喜歡的那個人在你眼中不再完美，而他的瑕疵正如月中的桂影一般讓你更加依依不捨，你會覺得與他光彩照人的一面相比，你更願意看他在你面前無助的表情，不知道是不是應該祝賀你，總之，你的感情昇華了
——仰慕不是愛，甚至不是喜歡，當你對一個人只有仰慕之情時，你們在一起便失去了和諧。有人說愛一個人很累，的確是，因為你想為他承擔，可是愛與喜歡相比最大的魅力就在於，當你和愛的人在一起時，你的感覺就像回家了！

can i be tough?

mum told me during dinner time, dat jason n his family will be coming back tomolo evening...they finally back sdk, but, without tian around us anymore...d feeling of heart breaking come back to me so deep again now...i tought i m ok, i already accepted d truth, but deep down in my heart, i never let go at all...when i went to tian's wardrobe jus now, tears dropping down again, those happy memories again appear in front of my eyes, it jus like wat had happened yesterday..i wonder b4, n now again, how am i facing jason n his family? all i remembered is...jason n tian, they jus like twins...jason oways follow wat his brother do, but now, without him around, what wil he do? will he cry? when i look at him, will i cry? i reli dunno...i cant imagine d situation...mum said...she doesnt know how to face his mother n how his mother face my mum as well...yes, it is true...to us, thou tian not reli my bro, v have no blood relation at all, but he already is my little bro, my family, he jus like son of my mum, coz i oways tease mum dat, hey, ur big son..ur small son...means tian n jason...i reli dunno how they react tml when my dad n mum go to fetch them at airport..but 1 thing i can be sure, tears will drop...his mum, cant accept d truth tat tian is not around anymore, yes..not only her i think, anyone dat know tian, will feel d same too...coz, he reli such a wonderful kid...those days never exist anymore, try accept d truth? easy to say, hard to make it happen...everyone jus need time...i jus need more time!

i will miss you forever, i love u!

it was such a shock n heart break news when my mum told me about it...i never expected tat will be happened at all, not him, not now, not when he is not around us...he is such a cute, sweet n obedient little bro to me, i will never thought tat to be happened at all..30 Jan 2009...a date tat i will never forget, a cruel day tat God has taken u away from me, tian, my beloved little bro, i will miss you forever and i love u!
it has been 4 days after d news, today, i become more brave n happier a bit compare to 3 days ago...tears been dropping again n again when i think of tian...all those happy memories...i will never forget...he gave me so much all these years...yes...10 years already, he has been living n sharing all ups and downs with me n my family for 10 years already...i still remember his last conversation with me, when he was in kk airpoirt, waiting to leave for Sibu, he said...he wanna take his hot dog 1st, then he will call back again..he said goodbye to me, he said...goodbye 二美女...yes..he is a sweet kid..he always know how to tam me...all his little actions and little funny words, i still can remember...i remember he said when he come back from sarawak, he wanna watch his dvd dat my sis bought for him...but...he never will come back anymore...i cant control my tears from dropping down when i think of this...he will never come back again...i was wondering so many days...wat had happened to him...i do not know, n i scare to ask...coz i do not know i can bear the truth or not...he has gone...all i know is he will never sa jiao with me anymore...10 years...it has been such a long period...i still remember, i asked him once...wat will u do when u grow up? will u still remember me n my mum? he said...sure i will remember u all, i still wan to earn more money n support us, he meant a lot to my mum, my dad, my sis, my bro n me...tian...i love u!